What the hell happened to video games?!

As every concerned citizen, I feel it is my duty do stand up and defend what's right every once in a while. Especially when something I hold dear to my heart is at stake. Like the fate of a rainforest. Or the future of our children. Or fight against crime and corruption. Or video games.
Yes, my dear reader, time has come to stand up and speak our mind about what's right and what's wrong with our most beloved thing of everything that we think is beloved. Our sweet, precioussssss video games. After browsing Gamespot for about two hours (like I said, I get bored at work pretty fast, so don't be surprised) I was left in shock after discovering just how messed up video games turned out to be. How shallow and unsatisfying.

In other words, they're not bloody enough.

OK, now before you start giving me that politically correct crap about kids and violence in video games, let's get a few things straight...

1.) This is a politically incorrect blog. So if you're a politically correct person, please leave this blog at once.

In other words, if you can't see why this picture is awesome, get the hell out!

2.) Let's just cut the bullshit, nobody's playing video games because he/she wants to save the world from evil terrorists in the most humane way possible, we're playing them because we want to see some carnage. We like to feel badass, and we like to feel like action heroes. Doesn't matter who are we fighting, Nazis, Soviets, terrorists or mountain trolls. We want to see some blood and guts, dammit! Why? Because it's fun and because it's freakin' awesome! It's just our nature...

OK, now that we got that straightened out, let's talk about what's important here... As I said, a grim trend is sweeping the gaming industry. A grim trend of political correctness and family friendly titles. Friends, brothers, comrades... ask yourselves... HOW IN THE FUCK'S NAME DID THIS HAPPEN?!?!?!
Not so many years ago, we had games like Blood 2. We had games like Carmageddon. Like Sin. Like Diablo 2. Like Mortal Kombat 4. Or just about any other damn thing that gaming industry ever spat out. And all those wonderful titles shared one common trait - they were gore-drenched, knife-in-the-guts, in-your-face violent! And, most of all, fun.

Now I'm fully aware that it just might be me. After all, I was a kid back when those games were mainstream. It's not so easy to impress a man in his 20s, especially today. But consider this... God Of War is a good game. Great game, actually. And it's pretty brutal, you get to butcher all kinds of mythical creatures. AND you play as a muscular tough guy wielding two stone blades tied up with chains. Hell, Kratos even has sex in the game. Well, you don't get to see any hanky panky in the game, but at least the game lets you know he's banging hot chicks. Anyway.

You have to admit, the guy is pretty awesome. He's kind of like Spartan version of Conan. How cool is that?! Even if it was released 10 years ago, in the golden age of video game violence, God Of War would've stirred up some public outcry. Weeeeel... not really. Compared to other games of that time, God Of War is actually pretty average when it comes to violence. Don't get me wrong, it's brutal all right, but not that much.

Now take a look at these pictures

That's a screenshot from Blood 2: The Chosen. Holy shit, it's just the beginning of the game, and already there are severed limbs and pools of blood everywhere. Imagine what happens when you get your hands on some more powerful hardware later on in the game...

And what about this? I don't even think this one needs an explanation. We all enjoyed impaling our enemies on iron spikes in Mortal Kombat and performing ultra-violent fatalities. But for some reason, we're not allowed to do that anymore. Why the hell not?!?!
OK, I agree that certain video games aren't really fit for young kids. But if that's the case then don't let your 6-year-old toddler play them. Buy him a Super Mario game or something. Don't buy him Thrill Kill. It's called parenting, folks...
The thing is, we've been playing violent video games for generations. And we all enjoyed them. And we turned out OK. Sure, there are always a few extreme cases of psycho kids killing half of their class, but those kids sure as hell aren't fucked up because they played Mortal Kombat too much. I played Mortal Kombat even more, and I haven't killed anyone yet. Nor do I intend to.
Hell, I remember watching violent Hollywood action flicks with my entire family when i was 6 years old, and it never turned me into Norman Bates. If a child can watch "Die Hard" with his parents and not turn psycho, then I don't think a stupid video game will do much damage.

OK, now I'm starting to sound too serious. Well, anyways, as I was saying... we like to kill our enemies, and we like to see their guts splattered all around. At least in video games. I don't know what the hell started this grim trend of family friendly crap (our kids are more fucked up then ever these days, despite non-violent games). In a world of Reality TV, American Idol, 4Chan and tentacle rape cartoon porn, how the hell can splattering somebody's pixel brains make things worse? There's only one thing I am asking of video game developers - bring back the good video games and stop making any more of that kids friendly crap.
That's exactly why I hate fucking Nintendo. For crying out loud, why 50% of all their games have to be about flowers, sunshine and Italian plumbers? I'm not 8 anymore, give me some fun!

Pictured above: FUN.