Girls: The good, the bad, and the not-so-ugly

I know all of you are probably thinking right now "Don't go there, man! Just don't go there!"
But what the hell, I'm gonna go there anyway! That's right, I'm going to talk about girls. Hey, it's cool, it's cool, I'm not gonna talk about my ex girlfriends or anything like that. Put the gun down, no need to panic... I'm just going to talk about something terrible that's been plagueing mankind for years now, and by "mankind" I mean mostly women. Nothing horrible, I promise. Do I have your attention yet? No?
How about now?


OK, now that I have your undivided attention, I can start talking about this another big important issue that's probably going to spell doom for mankind. How? Don't really know, to be honest. And no, it's not boobs, even tough I promise another picture of boobs if you manage to read this post all the way through to the end.

So, anyway...
Browsing the internet the other day, I couldn't help but notice a certain "funny" article about girls on dating sites, and how they use cameras and photoshop to make themselves look hot while they're, let's be honest, mostly a hideous overweight monsters that don't even resemble women. Hey, don't look at me like that, it's not my fault they're catshit ugly.
Well, MOST of them anyway... While looking at photos of other hideous fat baloons that somehow passed for girls, I also saw a picture of this girl. Behold...

OK, girl who is on the picture, if you're reading this, don't sue my ass off for putting your picture on my blog without your authorisation. I'm on your side here. You can thank me later.
Anyway, on the left there is a picture of this girl that she put on some dating site. On the right, it's her picture in real life, without makeup, camera tricks or photoshop. See the difference? Yeah, I can see it too, but that's not the point. The point is, everyone seems to percieve this girl as a fuck ugly overweight monster.

HOLD ON THERE JUST A MINUTE, DAMMIT!!!!

OK, I admit, she's not exactly Miss Universe. She's not beautiful in a way Angelina Jolie might be, but Jesus Christ, she's not ugly! Sure, she looks stunning on that photo on the left, but she's at least kind of cute on that photo on the right. As for her body, well, she is a bit chunky, I admit, but hey... she's not fat, dammit! That's a HUGE difference! Why am I making such a big deal out of this? Well, keep on reading, my friend...

Now let's be fair for one moment, how many chubby girls do you know? And how many of those girls are miserable because of the way they look? Because of their chubbyness and all, and generally being, you know... chubby? Exactly.
I know quite a few. And too often did I have to listen to them complaining about how "fat" they are, and how they must lose weight A.S.A.P. But girls, ladies... if you'd just stop crying your heads off over your reflection in the mirror and think - who the hell says you're fat?! Cosmo?! Fuck Cosmo! What about guys? What do they say? Ever tought of that? Sure, some men like skinny girls, some like chubby. To each his own, right? You can't please everyone... But there ARE a lot of guys who like girls with curves, not skinny spray-tanned Barbie dolls you see in Cosmo. So you got a few extra pounds! Big deal! Personally, I think that's kind of hot. No, seriously, I'm all into chubby girls. You can look me up on Facebook, ladies. Aaaaaanyway.... let's get back on topic!

OK then, let's analyze the picture of that girl above. So she has a few extra ponds, a teeny tiny bit of tummy (...sexy!), kind of big thighs (...holy shit, that's sexy!) and probably a big butt as well (holy cow, I'm melting!). Some men think that's unattractive, but I, for example, love all that. And she's also kind of cute, so that's a good thing as well. So, chunky, with curves, and cute face - that would be my ideal woman.

Why am I telling you this? Well, do the maths... there are approximately 3 billion men in the world. And if I like chunky girls, then it sure as hell means there are MORE guys out there who are just like me. Honestly, guys have all kinds of fetishes, and a lot of those fetishes don't fit in the social stereotypes that are forced onto us by Hollywood movies and magazines. A lot of guys won't even admit they have those little fetishes.
So ladies, next time some asshole calls you fat, just remember... one man's trash is another man's treasure! So don't kill yourselves with tortureous diets and let yourselves turn into skeletons. As long as you stay within the boundaries of what's good for your health, you can be as chubby as you want for all I (and many other guys) care. For the sake of us all, stop being slaves to fashion and let us decent men have the pleasure of meeting more curvy girls without the fear that they're gonna vomit their dinner on our first date just because some jock called her fat in high school.

OK, now as promised, another picture of boobs... Wait... you just wanted to see boobs? Well, I suppose so...
Oh, you didn't even bother to read this post? OK, OK... fine, have it your way. At least you can't say that I don't keep my promises.



Ya perverts...